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10: Between the couch cushionsIt’s for loose change, not loose women.

9: Your dog ate itIf you think your dog craps all over the house when you give him a little table scrap now, wait til’ he has an entire dead hooker.

8: In the dryerThat thing eats socks, not dead hookers.

7: In the refrigeratorThat is the wrong kind of leftovers.

6: In a movie theaterYou might get away with sneaking in your own candy but you’re still gonna have to pay for two tickets and they will be alarmed when you ask for ONE ADULT and ONE DEAD HOOKER.

5: Under the rugDust bunnies are not noticeable, sex bunnies ON dust are very noticeable.

4: The Salvation ArmyThey won’t even take your pee-stained couch, so they most likely won’t take a dead hooker.

3: Your trunkDead hookers make horrible spare tires.

2: In your other pantsGetting her in your pants is what got you in this predicament in the first place.

1: In your vegetable gardenI say tomat-O, you say tom-Ato, I say potat-O, you say “Oh my god is that a dead hooker?“